Mendable Parts

 

God I'm a cheater I've cheated on you more times than I can count

Too long I've allowed myself to let other things get in the way of our relationship

I've let the lies of this world surround me like a head inside a hornets nest

Blinded by the stings that this world has to offer I have allowed the lies to become truths

Truths that consume my thoughts so deeply that I can't see that you're working in my life

I've lost sight of your handiwork and have begun to believe the filthy rags

That I keep trying to use those rags to clean up the mess I find myself in

I keep digging deeper into my own depression only to find more dirt and more filth

Leading me into further depressing thoughts that cloud my judgment and my eyes

From seeing the reality of what you are doing in my life and how you are moving

My own insecurities and the monsters in my closet seem to be knocking me down every time

I find myself standing on my feet pressure seems to build and just when life has begun to look up

I'm back on my face asking you why God I let my whys and how comes to create this gap

And I dwell on those so intensely that I can't seem to find intimacy with you because I am blinded

Blinded by the pain this pain has been beside me for too long and it's hard to imagine it gone

But God I don't want to spend another day in a relationship with pain I desire to know you

To be with you to erase the pain would be a curse because there is beauty in knowing my past

But by grace you pull me out of the grave I keep digging and place my feet on hope

You remind me of what took place on Calvary no longer do fear and pain control me

But with grace and mercy I am free from its bondage Lord I want intimacy again with you

To love you with all the love this weary heart possesses I desire to partner in your work

To begin a bond that fear and pain have no place in where love reigns supreme

God where I see a broken spirit you see workable usable and mendable parts

Let me fall in love with you all over again allow me in my brokenness

To see the fullness and wholeness of who you are let me see the behind the scenes action

That I have failed to see for so long because I let doubt and insecurity cloud my judgment

And my view of who you are and what you are doing and where your will is leading me

Break me down to build me up better newer and stronger let your plans and movements be mine

Let me be a pawn to bring glory to you and you alone let my motives be pure

And my intentions only to bring you praise, glory and honor to You alone

Let the words that come from my mouth be only encouragement to a world so hopeless

Let the outflow of my heart be a blessing to those in need and not a curse to the broken

Let my life like a mirror show you and not me and allow my love to be of the purest form

God you know my desires and yet restrict them until you deem it necessary

Allow me the patience to wait and allow the mindset that even if I have to wait a long time

Even if I don't receive every desire that my heart possesses to be open to whatever you call me to

And for your love and grace to be sufficient for every need that my heart holds

You are the source of my joy and even though the enemy is on the prowl to steal that joy

Show me that there's joy even when the clouds hide the light and even when the waves are strong

@aforestoflikes